Identity
by Kosich Raine
Summary: How much more upside down can this get!" She clutched her head between her hands. Tears threatening to spill out, she whispered, "Who am I?" Not everything is as it seems. What is good? And what is evil? Are there such things? Rated T for Hidan's mouth.
1. Predator and Prey

WOOP WOOP! Okay guys, I'm back! It's been awhile, and a few nights ago I was reading my old (and incomplete) stories. But that's gonna change, because I'm going to edit them (a little, not too much!) and FINISH THEM!

So ladies and gents, this is my first Akatsuki fanfic, and here is the first chapter!

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. The only thing I own are the two (technically three) OCs in the story.**

x

Chapter 1: Predator and Prey

Anzu walked through the small village, her dark red coat billowing around her. She peered at her surroundings from underneath her straw hat. People cast side glances at her, whispering to each other.

"Who is she?"

"She looks like a bounty hunter…"

"Do you think she'll cause trouble?"

"Is she dangerous?"

Anzu continued to stroll through the village, ignoring the people around her. Her focus was on the numerous "wanted" posters hanging around town.

There were only two kinds of posters. One had a picture of a gray-eyed girl with short blue hair, named Kaodi Uchiha, wanted alive for twenty-five million ryou. The other had a picture of a green-eyed girl with long purple hair, named Hiteru Zokai, also wanted for twenty-five million ryou.

No one saw the small smile that appeared on Anzu's mouth as she read the posters. Her coat had a long collar that stretched above her nose. Only her one sky blue eye and one amethyst eye could be seen, and the people who dared to look at her face saw the mischievous twinkle in those eyes.

Anzu decided to stop by a small bar.

She entered and walked up to the bartender, whose eyes widened. A tint of nervousness was seen on his face.

"Hey you. With the face. I need something to drink," Anzu spoke roughly.

The bartender stuttered, "Y-yes, of course. What would you like?"

There were some gruff men nearby, sitting at the tables in the bar. They snickered, keeping an eye on the girl that just entered.

"How much you bet that she's one badass rogue ninja?" one joked.

"What, just because she has a long coat and weird eyes?" another replied.

"Well, think about it. She probably has some weird ability with those eyes. And she's probably got a lot of crazy weapons underneath that coat," the first one pointed out.

"Hmm, good point. Well, if she's that much of a badass, you'll know why exactly she's here."

"Yeah. For sake. Or to beat the bartender and steal his money."

The men continued to watch the girl, whose back was turned towards them.

Anzu took off her straw hat then gave a harmless, yet somehow, scary-looking grin to the bartender, who now had a I-think-I-just-shit-my-drawers look on his face.

"Hmm…Can I have milk tea with no ice and extra boba, please? That'd be _great_."

X

"Damn, I seriously hope they don't catch up to me. They're _fast_," Hiteru muttered.

_I can't afford to get caught._

The girl sprinted through the forest, then dashed onto the road. She glanced at the trees being destroyed behind her. One mistake, then she'd be dead. Not literally though. She knew that whoever was chasing her was going to capture her alive.

Hiteru turned her head to look in front of her. She had exited the forest. She saw a small village up ahead, a little a ways from where she was.

She nodded.

_I'll lose them up there._

_X_

"SO! I was wondering, have you seen either of these two?" Anzu asked, pointing to the girls on the two "wanted" posters plastered to a wall in the bar.

The bartender's nervousness had faded away, but he was still cautious around the girl.

"Well…no…I haven't."

Anzu gave a sarcastic frown.

"Oh _darn_! I was hoping to catch at least one of them here. I've been tracking them for awhile, and they're supposed to be in this village by now."

The bartender cast a serious side glance at the girl.

"You must be a-"

X

"BITCH!"

Hiteru had just entered the small village and sprinted through the streets.

"BITCH COME BACK HERE!"

Hiteru didn't look back. She just ran. She didn't dare to battle the man that was chasing and cussing after her. Not when he had a partner. And not without her partner, Kaodi.

A scythe nearly slashed her arm.

"Hidan, how could you _miss_? Don't let the money get away!"

"Kakuzu, shut your fucking ass up! I don't need you to fucking order me around!"

"Hidan…When we're done…I swear I'm going to _kill_ you!"

Hiteru rolled her eyes.

_Men._

She continued to dash through the village. Unfortunately, there wasn't much of a crowd to get lost in. She wouldn't be able to lose her pursuers.

_They're sure persistent. And if one of them is so concerned about money, he must be a-_

_X_

"Bounty hunter?" Anzu said, completing the bartender's question. "Yes, I'm a bounty hunter," she confirmed, smiling.

_And why am I smiling so much? I was supposed to be PMS-ing today! What the hell, man? And I planned it out perfectly so I could be a grumpy, badass bounty hunter! Damn! Now I know my period's going to be late this month…Double damn!_

Suddenly, screams were heard and rumbles were felt from outside. The bartender yelled a high-pitched _AHHH!_ and hid underneath the bar counter.

Anzu looked towards the curtain that led outside.

_Oh? What could be disturbing the peace of this humble town?_

She peered over the counter and smiled at the trembling bartender.

"Well, I appreciate your service. Here's your tip. And now, I must…be gone!"

Anzu disappeared in a poof of smoke and reappeared outside. Her coat and hair whipped around her as a purple haired girl in a pink kimono flew by, followed by two men in black coats, emblazed with red clouds.

She blinked.

She recalled the appearance of the purple haired girl and compared it with a "wanted" poster nearby.

That must have been Hiteru….Wait.

She then recalled the two men who seemed to be chasing after the girl. She blinked again.

_Other bounty hunters?_

"…AW _HELLZ_ NO! She's _MINE_!"

X

And there's the first chapter! I made a few edits to the story, having to do with word choice and sentence fluency. I maybe changed a few things for the story to make a little more sense. If anything doesn't make sense, PM me and I'll do my best to fix it. Other than that, I shall be editing the second chapter. UNTIL NEXT TIME!


	2. Chase

_Chapter 2: Chase_

_People scattered about, running, screaming. Little booths, shops, and bars whizzed by in Hiteru's peripheral vision._

_She felt the chakra signatures of her predators right on her tail. She made a hand sign to use her own chakra to speed up her sprint through the village._

_If she didn't know any better, she swore she was going at light speed. Of course, it was impossible, but it definitely felt like light speed. She felt better thinking she was going that fast. She needed to get away. It was a must. If she didn't, she and Kaodi would fail their mission._

_Damn…Kaodi, where are you? I'm getting chased by the wrong bounty hunters…!_

_X_

Anzu pursued the bounty, following behind the bounty hunters that were chasing after it. She now matched the bounty hunters' speed, trailing right behind them, but saw that the bounty was beginning to speed up ahead.

She decided not to worry about the bounty. Instead, she frowned at the backs of the bounty hunters.

_Who are these guys?_

She overheard the conversation between the two men in front of her.

"She's speeding up," one of them said, wearing something that somewhat looked like a semi-but-not-turban on his head.

"Wow, you're a real genius, jackass. _No shit_ she's speeding up!" the other scoffed. He had a scythe in hand.

"Hidan…!"

Anzu's eyes twinkled with delight.

_Judging from the looks of it, they seem to be partners, since they are wearing identical cloaks. However…they don't seem to be cooperating with each other…_

If anyone saw the expression on her face, it said "this is gonna be _good_."

The two men sped up as well, to match the bounty's speed.

The line of the chase was about to reach the end of the village.

Anzu smiled.

_Well then. Guess it's go-time._

_X_

Hiteru felt her pursuers gaining on her tail again. Not only that, but she felt a third chakra signature.

_...What? Is it…? Could it be-?_

Suddenly, a small blur appeared before her out of nowhere. Slow motion kicked in. Her eyes focused on the blur. It was a young child. She would have to jump over to avoid running into him.

_Buh-bump…..buh-bump…..buh-bump…..buh-bump….._

Hiteru heard the articulate beats of her heart each time it pumped, feeling the effects of the slow motion. Her reflexes drove her to jump, doing a corkscrew spin in the air.

She cleared over the child, but out of the corner of her eye, she saw a scythe headed straight for her.

_Buh-bump…..buh-bump….._

She was helpless in the air. She wouldn't be able to avoid the scythe in time. And when she didn't, Hiteru would most likely receive a gruesome gash. Even worse, she couldn't _stand_ blood. But Kaodi could. Where _was_ she?

Hiteru eyed the scythe, watching it fly closer. Closer. Closer. And closer.

_Damn._

As it was mere inches away, she scrunched her eyes and gritted her teeth.

_I hate blood…_

X

Speaking of blood, I had five nosebleeds in two days last week. It was terrible. I thought that if I ate wasabi, it would help clear my sinuses, so I ate this huge chuck and WA-BAM! Blood everywhere. But anyways! There's the second chappie, edited and ready to go! Third chapter is on it's way.


	3. Weapons and Words

Third chappie is here~! :D

TOTALLY forgot to put disclaimer on last chapter :X So here's one in caps to make up for it.

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO! THE GRAND HONOR GOES TO MASASHI KISHIMOTO! Please don't sue me 3**

Chapter 3: Weapons and Words

Recap:

_Hiteru eyed the scythe, watching it fly closer. Closer. Closer. And closer._

_Damn._

_As it was mere inches away, she scrunched her eyes and gritted her teeth._

_I hate blood…_

"INTERCEPTION~!"

_CLANG._

The sound of a clash between two blades rang in Hiteru's ears. She opened her eyes and widened them in surprise, discovering a grinning girl flying through the air, knocking away the pursuing scythe with a katana.

The two girls made eye contact, still in slow motion. Hiteru observed her rescuer, who was wearing a straw hat and black coat. The girl winked as she flew by with her katana.

Full speed motion returned. Hiteru landed on the ground, then fell backwards onto her behind. She breathed through her mouth, and sat down in a state of shock. The girl with the katana landed diagonally in front of her. Hiteru looked at her rescuer.

…_She came just in time…_

The girl with the straw hat placed her katana back in its sheath. She smiled.

"Now _that_ is what I call…WIN!" she declared victoriously, striking a cheesy, triumphant pose on the word "win."

The man with the scythe had the typical "WTF?" look on his face, mouth hanging open. And of course, along with his facial expression, there had to be the accompanying verbal expression.

"What the FUCK?" he cried. "Who the hell ARE YOU?"

The girl with the straw hat "hmphed" while crossing her arms and sticking her nose in the air.

"The name's Anzu Hirama."

From her haughty pose, she observed the two men, looking back and forth between them. She turned to look at her "bounty" to have a one-sided conversation.

"…Is it Halloween?….I seriously should have brought my Bigfoot costume!"

She turned back to the two men, and pointed an intentionally insulting finger at the man with the scythe. She took notice of the color of his eyes, how they were an amusing shade of pink. Almost…attractive. However, no expression on her face portrayed this.

"What are you? The grim reaper? Nah, you're not cool enough. We'll go with a vampire."

A vein popped in the scythe-holder's head.

"I am not a vampire, you bitch…!"

Ignoring his comment, Anzu pointed another insulting finger at the other man who wore a cloth around his head, and a mask on face. She took notice of his eyes as well, which were red with green pupils.

"…Is that…Is that _toilet paper _wrapped around your head?" She burst out into laughter.

The man with the "toilet paper wrapped around his head" had the expression "_ANGRY_" painted on his face. Well, at least what could be seen of his face, which would be his eyes. Therefore, his eyes said "_ANGRY!_"

He growled, "How _dare_ you insult me? And on top of that, you interrupt the capture of my bounty! I'm going to _destroy_ you! I won't allow a LOWLIFE like you to go any further!"

Meanwhile, Hiteru gawked at the scene, still in a state of shock.

_No. Way. You've got to be kidding me. The situation is bad enough already, and yet she's provoking them! Doesn't she realize how strong they are?_

And as if to affirm her thoughts, the TP man shot out tentacles from his arms, and wrapped them around Anzu with lightning speed. They proceeded to strangle her.

The other man, a.k.a. the potty mouth "vampire" with pink eyes, sprinted towards Anzu.

"HAHA! TAKE THIS YOU LITTLE SHIT!"

He leapt through the air, and initiated a blow to the body with his scythe.

Anzu struggled.

_Well, I'm a sorry excuse for a bounty hunter…I didn't even see that coming…It must be the straw hat. That one piece stickin' out there can sometimes be distrac-_

The scythe sliced through with the middle of Anzu's body, resulting in blood spurting everywhere. A few splotches landed in front of Hiteru, who had just recovered from her shock, only to be in shock again.

Hiteru gasped, eyes widened, hand reaching out.

She screamed, "NOOOOOO!"

_POOF!_

A cloud of smoke whipped up amongst the tentacles of the man. Instead of Anzu Hirama's supposed-to-be dead body, a ripped sack of dirt was found within the tentacles. TP man growled, while the "vampire" turned his head from the sack to stare at the blood fading away on his scythe. Another "WTF" look was plastered onto his face, mouth agape.

"Neh, neh, sorry to disappoint ya, but it's gonna take a lot more than thatto beat _me_ down!"

Three heads whipped towards the source of the taunting voice, which came from the top of an old, cracked building. A silhouette was seen inside another cloud of smoke.

The smoke cleared within a matter of seconds, blown away by a gust of wind, and revealed a gray-eyed girl with short blue hair, tied up in a stubby ponytail.

The man with the tentacles glared the glare of death at the girl. He recalled the cloud of smoke in his tentacles, and then connected it with the cloud of smoke that just disappeared from around the girl who stood on top of the building.

"…She was toying with us! Pretending to be that bounty hunter from before…!" he growled.

The "vampire", after hearing his partner's words, slowly went from "WTF" mode, to creepily licking-his-lips mode. Pure blood thirst was seen in his eyes as he spat out the name of his new target.

"Well well…" he slowly began. "I sure wouldn't fuckin' mind tasting _your _blood….KAODI UCHIHA!"

X

Yup, and there's the third chapter, edited and ready to be read. The fourth chapter shall be updated and posted soon!


	4. Beat 'Em Down

Okay, so you know those scenes in Naruto where there's a battle, and then one side of the battle, the characters take _forever_ just talking? They're either talking about "how I tricked you" or they're just talking in their head about "if I do this…then" or "if I do that…then"? This chapter is sort of like that, so it may be a bit longer than the other chapters :O

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Naruto, this work belongs to Masashi Kishimoto.**

Chapter 4: Beat 'Em Down

Recap:

_Well well…" he slowly began. "I sure wouldn't fuckin' mind tasting your blood….KAODI UCHIHA!"_

"All Kakuzu talks about are the damn bounties he wants to get! 'Kaodi Uchiha! Kaodi Uchiha! Hiteru Zokai! Hiteru Zokai! I'm getting that fifty-million ryou!' That's all he _ever_ fuckin' talks about!"

Kaodi raised an eyebrow.

"Uh huh…" she said, acting uninterested.

She already knew that there were "wanted" posters of her and her partner in many places. It wasn't a surprise that the two men knew who they were.

"Kakuzu! Let's get these bitches! You want your bounty right? I'm going!"

"Hidan! Wait."

"FUCK KAKUZU! _WHAT_?"

While the two men argued, Kaodi hopped down from the building and landed next to Hiteru. She gave her friend a hand, and pulled her up.

Hiteru looked at Kaodi, then let out a small sigh of relief.

"Nice acting," Kaodi commented.

Flashback.

_Hiteru gasped, eyes widened, hand reaching out…_

_She screamed, "NOOOOOO!"_

End of flashback.

Kaodi grinned.

"Couldn't expect more from Hiteru Zokai," she complimented.

Hiteru twitched, unnoticed by Kaodi.

_Well…I'm not gonna say this out loud, but I actually wasn't acting at all. When that guy with the scythe got you, well…I should have known better, but I thought you were done for. And I would be in deep, deep trouble…_

Despite Hiteru's thoughts, she talked with Kaodi as if nothing happened.

"You disguised your chakra signature pretty well. I almost didn't recognize you in your bounty hunter disguise."

"Why thank you! And I'm glad you recognized me, otherwise, that'd just be plain _sad_. What kind of partner would you be if you didn't recognize me?"

"…A bad one."

"You bet."

"By the way, why weren't you at the reconnaissance point?"

"I got thirsty. So I went to get something to drink."

"…You left me for a _beverage_?"

"Yup. How'd you know I was in this village?"

"…I didn't. I got chased here."

"Oh…OH! I see! Wait…Speaking of which…how did _they_ find you?"

"I ran into them on the way to our rendezvous. The one in the mask looked at me and said I was one of the bounty in his bingo book. Then, they chased me here. Like I said before, good thing you came along…But then again, since he seems to be a passionate bounty hunter," Hiteru nodded her head towards the man in the mask. "Now he's gonna be after you, too."

Kaodi glimpsed at the two men on the other side, one had the annoyed sign next to his head, the other was just glaring at back and forth between the two girls and his partner.

"KAKUZU! Do you see that? Fuck. They're just standing there talking because we're not _doing_ anything! I'm gonna kill them! Kakuzu, let's go!"

"Shut up, Hidan! Just _hold on_! Remember we can't kill them. They're wanted alive…!"

Kaodi raised her eyebrows, looking at the two men with a grin.

"Sooo…_you're_ Hidan," she pointed at the man with pink eyes, "and _you're_ Kakuzu," she slid her finger through the air to point at the man with the red eyes and green pupils.

She gave a "heh" and smirked.

"Now we know your names, too. Hiteru, look them up in our bingo book."

"Umm…I read the book earlier and…they're not in it…"

The wind blew. Kaodi sweat dropped.

"What kind of a _shitty ass _bingo book do we have?"

Hidan cackled.

"What, did you bitches think you could beat us just because you have information about us? But you actually _don't_. What a fuckin' joke!"

Hidan's malicious laugh rang through the air.

"Shut up before I shove garlic up your ass, _vampire_," Kaodi yelled.

Hidan stopped laughing, and raised an eyebrow at the girl, giving her a smirk.

"Kakuzu! Let's take these bitches out now! I can't stand waiting anymore! You want the money right?"

"Hidan…wait…"

"_FUCK!_ WHAT?"

Kaodi got into a defensive stance, and smiled.

"No matter! Hiteru, you're not worried are you? We're a good duo. We'll beat these guys down, then continue our mission. Just like that!"

"Just like that?" Hiteru dryly repeated.

"Just like that," her partner smiled.

However, Hiteru frowned. _Our mission…we're still only halfway…_

Flashback:

_In the dark hallway of an underground hideout, a young man with glasses and a silver ponytail walked up to Hiteru. Both were carrying candles, the small fires illuminating their faces._

_"I have a mission for you…specifically you and Kaodi. You two are the only ones who can do it at the moment."_

_Hiteru nodded, averting her eyes, looking at the hallway wall. She wanted to avoid eye contact with the man._

_"Lord Orochimaru needs money for building a new hideout. The production of this hideout is critical. Your mission is to get fifty-million ryou to fund for the building. I've researched the land and there are certain areas where there are "wanted" posters of you and Kaodi."_

_Hiteru's eyes widened. Where were they going to get all of that money?_

_He chuckled. With evilness of course._

_"Don't worry. All the missions Lord Orochimaru has assigned to you two have earned you guys quite a reputation. You and Kaodi are wanted for twenty-five million ryou each in the posters. And you guys have done so well on your previous missions that people want you alive."_

_Hiteru tensed up. Okay, so what was his plan? She and Kaodi were worth twenty-five million ryou each, and twenty-five million plus twenty-five million equals the fifty-million they needed. But again, how were they going to get the money? Turn themselves in then magically escape?_

_"Bingo."_

_Hiteru jumped. How did he know what she was thinking?_

_"You and Kaodi are going to take turns being bounty and bounty hunter. You'll switch off roles, get the money, and get your partner out of jail. Simple as that."_

"_Simple as that?" she asked._

"_Simple as that," Kabuto repeated._

_He grinned, glasses glaring in the candlelight._

_Hiteru turned around and began walking towards Kaodi's room, to tell her about their new mission._

_"Oh, and one more thing."_

_Hiteru paused, turning her head over her shoulder to look at Kabuto._

_"Catch."_

_He threw a small book towards Hiteru. She caught it in midair with one hand._

"_What is this?"_

_"It's a bingo book. There are people in there you may run into during your mission. Other bounty hunters. It's just a heads up."_

_Hiteru nodded her head, and resumed her walk, only to be interrupted by Kabuto's voice again._

_"Oh, and Hiteru," he cooed, "remember to look out for Kaodi. You know why…"_

End of Flashback.

Hiteru sighed. The book was lacking. It was completely useless in their situation.

Since she didn't know anything about the two men beyond her, if they all engaged in a battle, who knows what would happen? If it turned out for the worst, it would be harder for her to keep "an eye" on Kaodi. Ironic, because Kaodi was the one who had just saved her from bloodshed.

Thoughts swam around insanely in her head. "Kaodi…let's not fight these guys."

"As if we'd let you bitches get away! Kakuzu wants his money, and I'm fuckin' sick of him talking about you!" Hidan yelled.

Kaodi raised an eyebrow.

Hiteru rolled her eyes. "Remember, we don't know anything about them. Their chakra is…strong. Don't you feel it? They're probably…extremely powerful."

"DAMN STRAIGHT!" Hidan screamed.

"SHUT UP WILL YA? WE'RE TRYING TO TALK HERE!" Kaodi screamed back.

"LIKE I'D LISTEN TO YOU, BITCH!" Hidan again screamed.

"YEAH? WELL I'M GONNA KICK YOU IN THE-"

Hiteru bonked her on the head.

"Ow! I was gonna say _shin_! Kick him in the _shin_! ARGH! Hiteru! C'mon! We can take these guys on! Let's go!"

"No! Listen to me! We have to work this out!"

"There's nothing to work out! Hiteru, look! We already got the twenty-five million from my capture. We just need to get the other twenty-five from yours! And now we're stuck with these guys. C'mon, we're close to completing our mission, let's just beat those two down!"

"Kaodi!"

Hidan snapped.

"Okay, _that's it_! I'm tired of hearing you fuckin' talk! And I'm sick of you, too, Kakuzu! THE FIRST MOVE IS MINE!"

X

And there we have it! The fifth chapter will be updated and posted soon!


	5. Battle

Okay! So before we begin, there are some jutsus in here that are from Narutopedia. Some of them are just…made up for the convenience of the story. But anyways…moving right along!

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Naruto. It belongs Masashi Kishimoto!**

Chapter 5: Battle

Recap:

_Hidan snapped. "Okay, that's it! I'm tired of hearing you fuckin' talk! THE FIRST MOVE IS MINE!"_

"HIDAN! STOP!" Kakuzu commanded.

Hidan ignored Kakuzu and charged towards the girls, scythe in hand.

"Go suck a dick, Kakuzu!" he called back.

Hiteru and Kaodi stopped arguing, immediately preparing to defend themselves. Kaodi swiftly executed hand signs, preparing a ninjutsu. Twin blades slid out of the long sleeves of Hiteru's pink kimono. Her art was handling weapons, using her clothes. Instead of using her hands, the end of her sleeves wrapped around the handles of the blades. With distinct arm movement, Hiteru swung both of the swords around once, then hurled them towards the assailing Hidan, who easily knocked them away with his scythe.

Hidan screamed, "HAHA! That all you got, bit-"

"HIDAN! LOOK OUT!" Kakuzu yelled, cutting him off.

Hidan looked back at his partner.

"Kakuzu! Shut the fu-"

"Fire style: Fireball Jutsu!" Kaodi yelled.

Hidan looked back in front of him and saw multiple fireballs flying towards him.

"Shit!"

_BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM!_

The fireballs crashed into the ground, leaving black miniature craters, scarring the earth.

Kaodi frowned. _Damn, I didn't get him…where'd he go?_

"Above us!" Hiteru yelled.

The two girls scattered. Hidan smashed his scythe into the ground.

"Damn it, you won't get away next time!" he screamed.

Hiteru performed hand signs, her hands hidden within the long sleeves her kimono. It looked like she was doing an elaborate dance with her arms, her sleeves waving in the air.

"Kaodi, our collaboration jutsu!"

"Right! You lead!"

"Wind Style: Cyclone Torpedo!"

Kaodi grinned.

"Heh, I like this one. Fire Style: Flamethrower!"

The two elements combined, creating a massive wind-powered fire that engulfed Hidan. A thick smoke resulted from the fire blast, covering part of the battlefield.

Kakuzu had the look on his face that said "I think I just shit my ninja pants…but not because Hidan got hit."

Thoughts flew around inside his head.

_I see…They're partners because their elements compliment each other to create combo attacks…That's why the first girl we encountered didn't attempt attack us. She was waiting for her partner so that they could fight against us together… So could it be that they can't fight separately? Or is it just that they are unsure about Hidan and I? Speaking of Hidan...I wonder how he managed that attack…_

Kaodi punched a fist into the air.

"YEAH! That's right! We kicked his as-...shin! I said shin!…Now to get the other one."

Hiteru was more skeptical. That combo move usually took out their enemy all together. Therefore, Hidan should have been eliminated. But she had this eerie feeling…

"OI! YOU! With the face! Kakuzu!" Kaodi shouted. "Shouldn't you show some remorse for that potty mouthed partner of yours? I'm afraid he got burnt to a crisp!"

But Kakuzu knew better. He knew his partner better.

_Hmm…"burnt to a crisp?"…That fool. She thought she hit Hidan. But that fire jutsu…That's right…She's an Uchiha. Fire Style runs in her family line…But wait…I thought Itachi-_

"HEY! I'M TALKING TO YOU!"

Kakuzu looked up and saw Kaodi attacking him from above. Kaodi slammed her dagger down, only to be blocked by Kakuzu's forearm. She retreated and leapt back.

"…Hiteru, did you see that? His arm was…when I hit it, it was like…it was harder than Kabuto's nonexistent dic-"

"LOOK OUT!"

Kakuzu shot out his tentacles and thrashed them about. The two girls leapt backwards, trying to avoid getting caught.

They retreated behind the smoke from the fire blast. Yes, the smoke was still there.

"Kaodi, we'll use our water and lightning combo next!"

"Aww yeah!"

"We'll attack him from behind the smoke. I'll have most of the area covered with my water jutsu."

"Got it."

"Water Style: Water Battlefield."

Water poured out from Hiteru's sleeves, covering the area with…well, water. Surprise, surprise!

Hiteru laid her hand on her newly produced battlefield. She looked for Kakuzu's presence.

"It reached him. Focus your Chidori towards the right on the other side of the smoke."

"Right. Chidori: Thunder!"

Kaodi gathered her chakra. Lightning formed on the palm of her hand. She struck her hand down onto the water battlefield, aiming her attack towards Kakuzu.

Hiteru's hand was still on her battlefield. She felt Kaodi's lightning travel through the water, zapping its way to…

_Wait a second…that presence…that's not Kakuzu…it's…!_

The sound of a thousand birds cried.

Kaodi's Chidori hit her target.

"OWWWWWWWWWWWW FUCK!"

Both girls snapped their heads towards the direction of the voice.

Hiteru furrowed her brows.

_What? No…It can't be…! I'm gonna get rid of this smoke to make sure…_

She performed hand signs. "Wind Style: Tornado!"

Kaodi added in another "Chidori" to the tornado, creating a Thunder Tornado.

She frowned as the tornado whipped away the smoke, and the lightning zapped in numerous places on the ground as it spun with the tornado. There were two figures seen. One seemed further away from the girls. The other was inside the smokescreen and was hit by the Thunder Tornado. It fell down onto the ground. A few seconds later, it got back up to a kneeling position.

_Two figures? And that one there…It can't be...we hit that one…what, three times?...And that language...but…how can he still be…?_

Sure enough, when the smoke blew away, there he was.

Hidan was slowly getting up from his kneeling position. His skin was burnt and dirty, his cloak tattered. He had survived all of the collaboration jutsus. Normally, the targets of the girls' combo moves would be knocked out, at the very least, if not burnt, electrified, tattered, or just dead. Given that the enemy was hit, of course.

Well, in Hidan's case, he _was_ hit. All three times. They saw it with their own eyes. Yet there he was, now standing in front of them.

Kaodi widened her eyes. She's never seen anything like this before. But despite that, to her, this wasn't particularly anything to pee in her pants about. She was more of the type to joke than to gasp.

"Motherfather…sister, brother! Shouldn't you be DEAD?"

Hidan smirked.

"Sucks for you, bitch. I'm fuckin' _immortal_!"

Kaodi scrunched up her face. This was going to get…interesting.

Hidan laughed.

"But it shouldn't be a problem for you, _right_ Kaodi? After all…aren't you an _Uchiha_? Where's your Sharingan?"

A vein popped in Kaodi's head.

Hiteru sweat dropped. Hidan had just pressed the wrong button.

_Ohhhh…This is gonna get ugly…_

Hidan cackled. For some reason, his eyes started to dart back and forth.

"Why didn't you use your Sharingan to see if you really killed me? Not that you _could _kill me! HA!"

Kaodi tilted her head down, a shadow cast on her eyes.

"…I don't have the Sharingan…"

"WHAT? Haha! You little bitch! Don't shit with me! All Uchiha clan members have the Sharingan! Looking at you, you should have developed it years ago! Unless you're like what, two?"

Kaodi slowly lifted her head and shot a death glare at Hidan.

"Well maybe, I'm just not good enough to have the Sharingan. But I think I'm more than good enough TO KICK YOUR- MMMMPH!"

We will never know if she said "ass" or "shin", because Kakuzu speedily bound Kaodi with his tentacles, which shot up from underground. He not only wrapped them around her arms and legs, but around her mouth as well.

"MMMPH MMMPH MMMPH MMMPH!"

"Haha, can't hear ya," Hidan grinned.

Hiteru grunted in frustration.

Hidan smiled.

"Neither of you saw that coming, eh?"

Rewind!

As Kaodi and Hidan were talking with one another, Kakuzu and Hiteru had a stare down.

Hiteru wanted to attack Hidan while he was preoccupied with asking Kaodi about her Sharingan. However, there was Kakuzu to worry about as well. It was a good opportunity to strike, but who should she attack?

She glanced at Hidan, whose eyes were darting back and forth between her and Kaodi…What was he thinking?

She knew that Kaodi always went on a rampage whenever someone questioned her about the Sharingan. Yes, she was an Uchiha, but for some reason, she wasn't blessed with the Sharingan. Kaodi believed that she was cursed. At least, that's what Kabuto told her.

Nevertheless, Hiteru believed Kaodi could beat the pulp out of whoever made fun of her non-development of the Sharingan. She saw it happen numerous times before. Kaodi would take her anger out on her questioning victim. Hiteru believed that it would be the case here, and hopefully, this so called "immortal" man would at least be beaten down, since apparently he couldn't be beaten down to death.

Little did Hiteru know that Hidan was actually distracting Kaodi by purposefully asking her about the Sharingan. He was also checking on Hiteru to see what she was doing. That was why his eyes darted around. He bought enough time for Kakuzu's tentacles to burrow underground and wrap around Kaodi, before she was able to go on her rampage.

Hiteru had hesitated for too long thinking about this and that. Now, Kaodi was caught.

Kaodi couldn't move her arms. If her hands weren't free, then she wouldn't be able to perform a jutsu to escape. She tried wriggling out, but to no avail.

Hiteru yelled, "KAODI! Hold still!"

Kaodi shouted a muffled, "Mmm mmpph mph mmm mmph mmm!" which sounded like a "As if I had the choice!"

"Wind style: Wind Razors!"

Blades of wind shot out from Hiteru's sleeves, targeting Kakuzu's tentacles. Most of them missed, but a few critical ones sliced the tentacles around Kaodi's mouth and hands.

Still in Kakuzu's grip, she made hand signs and called out, "Summoning Jutsu!"

A giant rooster appeared.

_I should have listened to Hiteru earlier. She was right…We shouldn't have fought them in the first place! We should have booked it…ARGH!_

"Hiteru! Go! Take whatever money we have from the rendezvous point and deliver it to Kabuto! Tokobate, swallow Hiteru and get her away!"

Tokobate, the rooster, with lightning speed, swallowed a "No! I can't leave you behind!" Hiteru.

"OH NO YOU FUCKIN' DON'T!" Hidan cried, flinging his scythe blade towards the rooster.

Right before Hidan's blade made contact with the summoning, Tokobate disappeared in a poof of smoke.

"FUCK!"

Kaodi uttered a "heh." At least Hiteru was able to escape. Unfortunately, she was still caught in Kakuzu's grip. New tentacles had just wrapped around her arms and mouth.

_Great…_

Kakuzu started a low growl, which increased in volume. As he became more angry, and as his growl became louder, his grip on Kaodi tightened more and more.

"You…YOU! You made me lose my MONEY!"

Hidan was furious as well.

"You know what? This whole fuckin' time, I wasn't able to get a single drop of fuckin' blood! Jashin won't be pleased with _nothing. _Uchiha, you're gonna go through hell with me!"

Kaodi was too busy being strangled by Kakuzu to pay attention to what Hidan had just said, not to mention what he meant. She was also too busy to realize that he was now charging towards her, flinging his scythe.

It sliced across her face, but just barely. He didn't want to cut the tentacles of his partner. Blood painted the tip of the top blade of Hidan's scythe. He pulled his blade back towards him, licking the blood from it. His skin turned black, with bands of white decorating his body.

Kaodi barely managed to realize what just happened. She saw Hidan change color and thought she was hallucinating because she was getting squeezed to death. Right when she thought she was going to faint, the grip around her completely loosened, dropping her to the ground.

She landed face flat. Kakuzu grunted.

"Hidan. Do whatever you want with her. Just don't kill her. I'm going to go count up what we have."

Hidan laughed like a maniac.

"You're done already? I don't think that was hard enough. More for me!"

Kaodi slowly pushed herself up, blood dripping down the tip of her nose. She was breathing hard. Her lungs longed for air.

"What…What do you mean? What are you...doing?…"

Hidan stabbed himself in the hand. His blood poured out onto the ground. He used his foot to spread the blood and drew a circle. Inside the circle he drew a triangle.

During this process, his face had the expression of sheer enjoyment. Now, Kaodi was starting to worry. Yes, just _starting_ to worry.

She swiftly gathered chakra into her palm to attack.

"CHIDORI BLAS-"

Before she could complete her jutsu, Hidan thrust a long metal spike into his torso, making sure not to hit any vital organs, but also making sure that it would be painful.

Kaodi felt an immense pain in _her_ torso.

"AAAAAUGHHH!" she screamed.

She collapsed onto the ground and curled up into a ball, clutching her side.

_What…What was that? How did he…?_

Hidan screamed, "ISN'T THE PAIN WONDERFUL?"

Kaodi coughed up a handful of blood. Some of it ran down the sides of her mouth, dripping from her chin onto the ground.

"…wonderful?" she gagged.

She looked at Hidan. The area where he had stabbed himself was the same exact area where her wound was. She theorized that their bodies were connected somehow. So what would happen if he stabbed himself in the…..? Because she sure didn't have one.

Hidan took out the spike, then stabbed himself in the thigh.

"AAHHHHAHAHAHA!"

"AUUGGHH!"

More blood spurted out of both Hidan and Kaodi. They had the same flesh wounds, the only difference was that Hidan was enjoying it, Kaodi was not.

"I think it'd be fuckin' genius of me to cripple you! You won't be able to get anywhere after this!"

"….!"

Hidan repeated the stabbing process, wounding Kaodi's other thigh, and both of her hands.

There was blood everywhere.

"Hidan! Enough. She's losing too much blood." Kakuzu didn't even bother to look up from his sack of money he pulled out.

"What? We barely got started!" Hidan whined.

Kaodi was just laying on the ground, in a loose fetal position.

"Eh?" Hidan nudged her body around with his foot. No response.

"Bring her over here. I'm going to tie her up."

"Yeah, yeah. Shit, that was too _soon_!"

Hidan picked up the limp body. She had fainted. However, she appeared…dead. Her face was extremely pale, and blood continued to run out of her body. Hidan had a one quarter-guilty, three quarters-overjoyed look on his face. Jashin would have been very proud of him for killing the girl. However, Kakuzu would be furious if his bounty that was wanted alive, was dead.

To check if she was still alive, he lifted her chest to his ear, listening for a heartbeat. It was there. Just faint. Very faint. He then realized that he was pressing his ear against her breasts. They weren't big, but they were there. He mentally smacked himself for taking notice of such a trivial thing, then walked towards Kakuzu.

"I didn't hurt her enough. Bitch is still alive. She's got a faint pulse."

"She better."

Hidan dropped the girl onto the ground next to his partner. Kakuzu's tentacles slithered around to bind the girl's ankles and wrists, then detached from his body.

He picked her up with one hand and tossed her onto his shoulder.

They heard a sound in their heads.

"…Fuckin' Leader. What the hell does he want?" Hidan complained.

"He probably sensed our battle with the bounty and wants to know what happened."

"Fuck! What a nosy prick!"

"Let's go. The sooner we talk to him, the sooner we can leave and get the money."

"Dammit, Kakuzu! You and your shit money!"

Without so much of a thought, Kakuzu whipped out a tentacle and smacked Hidan in the face, then walked away.

X

YAY! That was the last edited chapter. Now, we can go on with the story!


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